As part of an experimental study on the pathophysiology of panic disorder (which we believe is closely linked to the attachment-mediating endogenous opioid system), we looked into the long-term effects of early childhood separation on normal adults. We found striking fundamental differences in endogenous opioid reactivity based on presence of absence of early separation history. Of note, these were “normal” control subjects without any medical or psychiatric diagnosis.

The study was published in Psychological Medicine and can be found here:
http://psychiatryneurology.blogspot.com/2010/05/controlled-cross-over-study-in-normal.html

Best regards from New York,

Maurice Preter MD

psychiatryneurology.net

As for Frank Lloyd Wright, there is a remarkable DVD available from Netflix that chronicles his work and his love relations. He and Mamah Cheney were very much in love. While on a business trip Wright learned that the home he had built for burned to the ground. It was a bizarre
case of arson at the hands of servants who were vengeful about the prospect of being fired by the mistress of the house. Having secured the doors from outside the house they set the place ablaze and deterred all other avenues of egress. Mamah Cheney perished with her dream house.

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On a considerably lighter note: There was a marital situation in my practice that called out for creative advocacy. A patient of many years was living in a marriage devoid of intimacy. Her husband saw me for an independent consultation and told me of the affair, unknown to his wife, that triangulated their marriage and, possibly, relieved a deep seated fear that attachment to his spouse would make him vulnerable to her loss. Couples therapy had failed to help and there was no motivation for individual therapy for the adulterer. Over time my patient pondered the idea of leaving him; but, was rooted to the marriage by ambivalence, self-doubt and depression. One day while meeting with her I paused and looked toward the ceiling. A voice, my own, filled the room with a most remarkable phrase: GET A DIVORCE! “Did you hear that?” asked. My patient’s gaze followed the direction of my determined index finger. She smiled, faintly, we continued on in our therapy. And then it happened again! As if from that distant point on the ceiling, the same voice cried out: GET A DIVORCE! ” That’s amazing!” I said in my customary manner of speaking. ” Nothing like that has ever happened before…I can’t imagine where that came from!” It took some months but she ultimately lightened the burden in her life and struck off on a new path.

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Before ending ( Thank you for the stimulating blog) I do have a
strong recommendation for your Book Club:

” The Wrong Side of an Illness A Doctor’s Love Story,” copyright
Owen Stanley Surman M.D., 2008. The book is not about divorce. It is a journey ( my own ) in the form of a nonfiction novel ( there is such a thing) that earned honorable mention in the Life Stories category of The Writer’s Digest 2009 International Awards for Self-Published Books.

It is available on Amazon.com. The best recommendation I know
was from a distinguished medical colleague. He joined me one night a dinner in celebration honoring a retiring senior colleague. ” I read your book”, he said. That’s what I would have done!”

Nice to meet you,

Owen

But there was a time when our culture wanted to hear that message, and so we gave validity to an unsubstantiated study.

The result was a belief that if I am unhappy, unfulfilled, or just bored with my life, it is OK to get out of my unsatisfactory marriage and go to the one I love.

We all have worked with people who repeated their unhappiness in their second and third marriages. They keep bringing themselves into each new relationship, expecting the new person to fill their emptiness or repair their pain.

Marion Solomon